Working Through Secrets

I dreamed that I worked at the mall (where I worked during college.) I had gotten a second job at Victoria’s Secret and it was the first day of work. I was supposed to be there at 8:00, and I left my current job a few minutes early. I had to turn around and go back because I realized I wasn’t wearing any shoes. That was apparently acceptable at my other job, but I realized I had to wear shoes at Victoria’s Secret.

I put my shoes on (they were black tennis shoes) and started walking through the mall again to get there. I was worried that I should have worn my black dress shoes instead, but I thought they might hurt my feet. I realized I was likely to be late, because I had to walk the entire length of the mall from one end to the other. At one point, the only way to move forward was to go up these steep hills in the mall. The floors were slanted, and although there were some non-skid places (much like you would see in a bathtub, I still was sliding backwards. The friends I was with (one of whom helped me get the job at VS) were having no problem getting up the hills, and there were also kids clambering up, and they didn’t have any problems either. I became frustrated because I kept sliding backwards. One of the little kids looked at me and said, “You might need to ask for help. I had to have help twice climbing up!” I glared at the kid and ignored them. Then I took my shoes and socks off to get more traction, and that worked and allowed me to get to the top of the series of hills. I ran the rest of the way to work, and fortunately, they weren’t mad at me for being late.

I checked in and everyone was gathered outside the store for a team briefing. I noticed that I was dressed differently than everyone else. They were all wearing stylish suits, and I was wearing more of a frumpy dress. I asked what they wanted me to work on, and my boss was moving things around outside on a sale display but he sent me inside to work on something else. While I was in there, I asked someone if I should buy some new clothes to wear to work. In my dream, Victoria’s Secret sold clothes not lingerie and they started shifting through the racks of clothes pulling out things for me. I said that their store didn’t sell clothes large enough for me so I would have to order online, but in my dream, they did have some larger sizes.


I don’t necessarily have a full interpretation here, but I wanted to share a couple of parallels.

1- Some things aligned with Dylan starting his new job.

  • He went in (late) to work on Saturday (at 8:00) because he was at guard camp. I know he was worried about being late.
  • He had to wear black shoes, and rather than buying new black tennis shoes, he decided to wear his Dinkles from band.

2- Obviously, several things had to do with my persona.

  • Victoria’s Secret was an odd choice for a job first of all. The fact that they sell lingerie points to something about my persona I am keeping hidden, or maybe that’s usually hidden.
  • I also have emotional connections with VS because I am frustrated that they don’t carry any larger sizes in-store. If I purchase their things in real life, I have to order online.
  • I was dressed different and “frumpier” than my coworkers. I think this ties back to my fear of the merger at work. After working from home for so many years, I’m not sure I know what to wear and how to fit in anymore. I certainly would have to go shopping so I have things to wear other than jeans. 😦

A few things to ponder:

  • Malls – I dream about malls a lot. I suspect this is because I worked at a mall at a pivotal time in my life (during and after my divorce). It was the first job I found on my own, and it was the first job I quit. There are lots of emotions tied up in that period.
  • Shoes – For me, this is clearly a symbol of something that helps me get from one place to another. It’s a part of my persona but also practical from a protection standpoint. The fact that I had forgotten my shoes and then took them off anyway is interesting.
  • The hills/slopes in the mall – this one is pretty clear. I know I am stubborn and so it’s not surprising I would refuse help from someone else. Someone tried to tell me to ask for help, but I wanted to fix it for myself. Would it have been easier to ask for help? Maybe, but I remember feeling embarrassed and worried they wouldn’t be able to pull me up because of my weight.
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