A Painful Persona

I was shopping, and helping a young lady (high school age) pick out her first formal dress.  I don’t know who the girl was in real life, but in the dream, she’d had a hard life and really struggled.  She wasn’t popular, and this was the first, and probably last, time she was going to go to a dance.  She was wearing a beautiful floor-length gown, but was concerned if her butt looked big.  I taught her how to use two mirrors to see herself from the back – she had never looked at herself in a mirror before!  Once she got the dress, I was sitting in the food court at the mall.  I was going to try to get something to eat or drink, but they were closing for the night.  I tried to walk behind a man in a wheelchair  to leave, and he grabbed me, and the whole table of men started attacking me.  They kidnapped me, and he put marks all over me.  It was a process similar to tattoos, but they were brown and not as painful, and used a stick to apply.  There were brown lines all over my body.  When he got to my face, I started crying and said, “are you really going to mark my face too?”  I was really upset, but the person was very kind and assured me it was beautiful.

Then Michael was there and it became a very romantic dream and I was no longer worried about the markings.

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This dream was all about persona – how I see myself.  Using the premise that everyone in the dream was me, as the young girl, (perhaps the first half of my life) I hadn’t really looked at myself.  It is now time to settle into myself and really look at myself.  The fact that my “attacker” was in a wheelchair is strange, and I’m not sure what that symbolizes.  A handicap that I’ve placed on myself?  The tattooing process was interesting because I was really upset at the beginning – especially on my face, or that part of me that I show others every day.   But by the end, the people who attached me were no longer a threat and I was not upset about the markings – they became an almost sensual part of myself.  Sexual dreams are supposed to be about bringing you closer to God and spirituality.

An interesting side note – the tattooing process and designs looked very similar to the New Zealand Maori tradition of Moko, although the markings on me appeared to be more like those on a man based on what I can find online.

Coming to terms…

There was some sort of newcomer celebration at the church, but in a field.  At home, I threw out all my high heels, leaving one pair of black flats in the closet.  I went to talk to Dylan about Austin, and I went to the bathroom but forgot to close the door.  I was trying to figure out what happened at a night club some time back.  I was also (maybe in this dream or maybe in another) caught in a work situation in a frilly nightgown.


Now, I haven’t been interpreting dreams very long, but if there was ever a dream that was pointing to my persona, this is it.  High heels represent discomfort to me on one hand, but also what people expect to see.  I think that perhaps this has to do with throwing out my hesitation to be myself – weird dreams and all – and just embracing it.  Forget what other people will think.  I need to be comfortable myself.  Same thing with the bathroom – you are “supposed” to close the door, but in my dream, it wasn’t awkward at all, and I wasn’t uncomfortable.  And the nightgown at work?  My conscious mind says that I shouldn’t be talking about dreams, and spirits, and angels, and spirituality outside of a very small, private group.  But… it’s out there.  I’m in my nightgown for all to see.  But you know what, it’s a pretty nightgown and I like it. 🙂