Last night, I had a very strange dream. I was on a business trip of some sort (only not traveling with my actual co-workers that I know.) We were in a hotel – maybe a conference center, although at times I got confused and thought we were at our friends’ house (Jon and LouAnn.) Of course, it wasn’t their actual house either. I had gone outside, and there was a swimming pool. It was very natural looking, with lots of landscaping/forests around it. It looked less like a pool and more like a pond. In the back corners, it was very dark because of all the shadows. I felt like I should ask LouAnn if I could go swimming, but as I was thinking about asking, suddenly I was in the water. I was nervous about going in the back since it was so dark. I also wondered if it was stocked with fish, but the water felt great. As I was swimming around, I saw a small silvery/white thread sticking out of my hand. I got out of the water and used tweezers to pull it out, and it was extremely long. As I pulled, then it turned into a wide, brown stick maybe half a centimeter in diameter. It hurt a lot pulling it out, and I had to put pressure on my hand to make myself pull it out. But the relief was so great when it came out that I had to do it. Each time I pulled one out, another one would appear. All of them were in the palms of my hands, and they had come from swimming in the pool. Someone else started to get in, and I warned them against it.
The dream then shifted and I was back inside the hotel. We were going into a meeting that I was leading, and it was on the 11th floor of the hotel. My room was also on this floor, and there was also a fast food restaurant on this floor. I wanted to get a diet coke before the meeting, but I was worried about running late. When I got into the room, though, everyone was late, so I left to go get a diet coke. The people in the restaurant knew me because I’d been in there so much. There were some people getting these huge plastic tumblers of diet cokes, but I just ordered a regular large one. They got distracted and forgot to get it for me, then a lady tried to give me a small one. It was very chaotic. I was also looking at the cabinets and appliance doors, and there were small bottles used to help prevent them from slamming. Austin called me while I was there and told me about the same thing, and I thought that was a big coincidence.
There was also some form of betrayal. I don’t remember the details now, but someone in the group had done something, and we were trying to figure out who. There was a bathroom that had plastic sheeting on the walls (like we used to have in our restaurant on the kitchen walls.) They had put crayons in the bathroom so people could write on the walls, but then it could be washed off. I wrote something but then felt guilty about it.
I dreamed that I was going to make spaghetti sauce. I put the water and A can of tomato paste on the stove but never bought the rest of the ingredients. An hour later I looked at it and it was just a watered down mess. I said it would be ok because it only took an hour to cook so I could go get the other ingredients and still have time.
Then we went to an Ole Miss Football game. When I got there, Aunt Sandy was inside. I was so surprised that her health would be good enough to go to a game. I didn’t go inside though because I was waiting on mom and dad and Michael to arrive. Mom got there and we went to get a Diet Coke. I looked and they also had some unusual soda options. I don’t remember now what they were. We sat in a small air conditioned room drinking the soda and it was very cold.
I dreamed that I worked at the mall (where I worked during college.) I had gotten a second job at Victoria’s Secret and it was the first day of work. I was supposed to be there at 8:00, and I left my current job a few minutes early. I had to turn around and go back because I realized I wasn’t wearing any shoes. That was apparently acceptable at my other job, but I realized I had to wear shoes at Victoria’s Secret.
I put my shoes on (they were black tennis shoes) and started walking through the mall again to get there. I was worried that I should have worn my black dress shoes instead, but I thought they might hurt my feet. I realized I was likely to be late, because I had to walk the entire length of the mall from one end to the other. At one point, the only way to move forward was to go up these steep hills in the mall. The floors were slanted, and although there were some non-skid places (much like you would see in a bathtub, I still was sliding backwards. The friends I was with (one of whom helped me get the job at VS) were having no problem getting up the hills, and there were also kids clambering up, and they didn’t have any problems either. I became frustrated because I kept sliding backwards. One of the little kids looked at me and said, “You might need to ask for help. I had to have help twice climbing up!” I glared at the kid and ignored them. Then I took my shoes and socks off to get more traction, and that worked and allowed me to get to the top of the series of hills. I ran the rest of the way to work, and fortunately, they weren’t mad at me for being late.
I checked in and everyone was gathered outside the store for a team briefing. I noticed that I was dressed differently than everyone else. They were all wearing stylish suits, and I was wearing more of a frumpy dress. I asked what they wanted me to work on, and my boss was moving things around outside on a sale display but he sent me inside to work on something else. While I was in there, I asked someone if I should buy some new clothes to wear to work. In my dream, Victoria’s Secret sold clothes not lingerie and they started shifting through the racks of clothes pulling out things for me. I said that their store didn’t sell clothes large enough for me so I would have to order online, but in my dream, they did have some larger sizes.
I don’t necessarily have a full interpretation here, but I wanted to share a couple of parallels.
1- Some things aligned with Dylan starting his new job.
- He went in (late) to work on Saturday (at 8:00) because he was at guard camp. I know he was worried about being late.
- He had to wear black shoes, and rather than buying new black tennis shoes, he decided to wear his Dinkles from band.
2- Obviously, several things had to do with my persona.
- Victoria’s Secret was an odd choice for a job first of all. The fact that they sell lingerie points to something about my persona I am keeping hidden, or maybe that’s usually hidden.
- I also have emotional connections with VS because I am frustrated that they don’t carry any larger sizes in-store. If I purchase their things in real life, I have to order online.
- I was dressed different and “frumpier” than my coworkers. I think this ties back to my fear of the merger at work. After working from home for so many years, I’m not sure I know what to wear and how to fit in anymore. I certainly would have to go shopping so I have things to wear other than jeans. 😦
A few things to ponder:
- Malls – I dream about malls a lot. I suspect this is because I worked at a mall at a pivotal time in my life (during and after my divorce). It was the first job I found on my own, and it was the first job I quit. There are lots of emotions tied up in that period.
- Shoes – For me, this is clearly a symbol of something that helps me get from one place to another. It’s a part of my persona but also practical from a protection standpoint. The fact that I had forgotten my shoes and then took them off anyway is interesting.
- The hills/slopes in the mall – this one is pretty clear. I know I am stubborn and so it’s not surprising I would refuse help from someone else. Someone tried to tell me to ask for help, but I wanted to fix it for myself. Would it have been easier to ask for help? Maybe, but I remember feeling embarrassed and worried they wouldn’t be able to pull me up because of my weight.
I was living in a “new” house although it felt like I had been there a while. The house was large, and I didn’t understand how much space it had. I was getting ready to clean it, and I discovered that in addition to the main house, there was an entirely new floor below (in the basement) that had a very long hallway with extra rooms. Many of them were bedrooms, and in fact some had multiple bunk beds. I remember thinking that I didn’t realize how much extra sleeping space we had. I felt overwhelmed at the idea of cleaning it all, but I closed off some of the rooms that I wasn’t going to need immediately, and then I started cleaning my own bedroom first. I was dusting a shelf, and there were items from my childhood that I didn’t really like. There were some very feminine, girly things like ceramic hearts with fake lace around the edge. I thought to myself that I didn’t need to keep those things, and that I needed to donate them or sell them.
Then the dream shifted (or maybe it was a second dream.) I was supposed to go to the young adult group at the church and talk to them about Servant Ministry projects. I was supposed to be there at a certain time. First, I was in a big area that resembled an airport but with lots of food places. I was looking for something to eat. It also felt a little like a college dorm cafeteria. I was planning to eat and then go to the meeting. I stopped Will and asked if it was ok if I turned it into a game. I was planning to do trivia like “How many people did we feed with Stop Hunger Now?” He said that was fine. But then I missed the event (maybe this is when I was cleaning??) Dylan came in and said that he and his dad had done it, and although he hadn’t wanted to go, he ended up winning the trivia.
I dreamed I was going to the doctor but was late. There was a confusing parking garage- I don’t remember the circumstances behind it. Then I was in the hallway and Donald Trump was there. He was somehow helping the doctor. A young man walked by and said he needed more protein so my doctor told him to eat more junior bacon cheeswburgers from Wendy’s.
In my dream, we had all moved to a new house. Alex invited five friends over and they were playing dress up in full costumes. They were like onesies and there were soldiers, cowboys and more. I realized that they didn’t have time to change and get to school on time and so I told them to get changed. Dylan was driving us, even though the school was within walking distance. Dylan went to pick up his friend and came back and was waiting in the driveway. Then suddenly I was a student and had to go too. I was worried about having to run laps for being late to band and I didn’t know if I could do it. Also that day we had a field trip scheduled to a science museum that included an aquarium. I didn’t want to be sweaty to go to the museum. As we were walking in, Aunt Sandy called me.
I dreamed that Austin told us he was getting married. It wasn’t to his existing girlfriend (but in the dream he and this girl had been together a long time.) I was alone and got in my car to race to the place they were getting married but it was graduation day and so there was traffic everywhere and people with caps and gowns milling all over. I was in my convertible stuck in traffic and a stranger came by and put a bike in my hands so I was able to pull over and park, then ride my bike the rest of the way. I was so afraid I would be late. I also didn’t have a gift and someone gave me a book about herbs. There was a guy sitting outside the door of the venue (it was more like a city hall than a church.) He said he would hold the bike for me and I told him he could keep it. He gave me wrapping paper to wrap the herb book, but the wedding was starting so I only got it half wrapped. I ran inside and there were a bunch of kids watching screens. Someone said “That’s the kids area” and pointed me through a different door. That took me into the main church-like room. I was worried Michael wouldn’t make it but he was there in the back row. I was upset we weren’t sitting closer but it was a small area. So it didn’t really matter. The wedding only lasted a couple of minutes. I leaned over and whispered that they must have taken their road trip (something Austin and his gf in real life did) as a pre-honeymoon since school was starting.
I said that as our gift we should get them a hotel for the weekend.
Mom and dad were there too.
We went back to the house and they went upstairs to take a nap. She came down again and was wearing pajamas and a night retainer on her teeth. We found out that she had a child already she was caring for and that she was pregnant as well. I started thinking that perhaps I should have at least talked to him about options. I asked if they’d asked his mom to come to the eddying and they hadn’t told her. I knew that she would be really upset and said they needed to talk to her.